Tag: Marvel

TV Shows

Moon Knight (Complete Review)

Not A Walking Tree

Given my episode play by play, it is painfully clear to anyone that I despised this show. This was nowhere near the hallmark that Marvel tries to hold itself to. It was dull, and pandering to the ‘woke’ and ‘diverse’ crowd. It was far too cowardly to try and tell a meaningful story. Instead it relied on tired old tropes, and hoping that people’s minds have forgotten previous movies. It tried to rely on big names in acting to draw in viewers. Oscar Isaac is the star of the show, and his acting chops put everyone to shame. Ethan Hawke was clearly just there to be remembered in posterity that he was in a Marvel production.

The story, and credits of each episode, excruciatingly teased viewers with a third persona but refused, adamantly, to show it until the very end. Until the last 30 seconds. Instead it tried its hardest to focus on just two personas of Moon Knight: Marc Spector and Steven Grant. Even then, they took the coward’s way out and switched comic Steven Grant for a new version. Perhaps they feared the comparisons to Batman, or any other rich superhero. As a result, everything suffered. Even the fight scenes were paltry, and anytime something cool could have happened, they turned it into a blackout scene. Like when Game of Thrones had to save money, and they showed the after-effects of a battle. I know Marvel has the money to spare, so this was a creative cop-out.

There were far too many writing bumbles that disconnected the viewer from immersion. Such as Steven’s inability to look at the time despite suffering life-long blackouts, to how Marc had a brother, or using mummification as a way to try and laughably introduce horror into the MCU. Then there’s manipulating the entire sky and not having every single superhero on the planet at high alert. Or killing countless disciples and followers of the lead antagonist, Harrow, and then being unwilling to kill him as well. Then the pandering to the ‘woke’ crowd and having the God’s chamber be a ‘safe space to talk’. Incredibly laughable.

The show at its best is a misfire and a great vehicle to show off Oscar Isaac’s talent, and at its worst, is pure political agenda at play. Gotta have an inclusion of “The MCU’s first Egyptian/Arab superhero” and we must have an evil, older, white man as the main antagonist. Our love interest must be able to fend for herself and show herself just as capable as her male counterparts; even though, the bad guys will suddenly lose their intellect and shoot directly at the parts where she’s armored. She’s only capable because suddenly every bad guy is highly incompetent yet when dealing with Moon Knight, they are a force to be reckoned with requiring his total mastery between Marc and Steven.

Congrats Marvel, once again y’all have dressed up a shiny turd of mediocre writing with shiny production value and dubious CGI. Let’s hope Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness doesn’t suffer from the same problems.

TV Shows

Moon Knight (ongoing)

Not A Walking Tree

Episode Six

Wow, I was right on the money. Creator and lead writer Jeremy Slater doesn’t have the heart or courage to tell a complete story. What a total cop-out of an ending. CGI fest of shitty fight sequences, a near rip off of Wonder Woman 1984’s costume, and the classic trope of “I literally just killed 20+ people but no, I won’t kill the lead bad guy. That’s evil!” Message received Jeremy. Egyptian people’s lives are worthless compared to an older white dude. Oh, but wait random internet critic, there’s a scene after the credits rectifying that! See, I am creative!

We have our first Egyptian superhero! So badass that she can stop bullets, and that her enemies are so braindead that they shoot their AKs point-blank at her wings instead of you know, her legs. See? Jake did make an appearance but only after I once again, director included, chickened out from actually showing his fight scene. Everyone loves getting blue-balled, especially twice.

The real winner here is Ethan Hawke. Man had to do the bare minimum, just walk around and say some lines, and bam, made millions. Oscar Isaac and May Calamawy at least had to actually put some effort into acting to get their paychecks.

You’d think after the abysmal writing that was Fantastic Four, and Umbrella Academy, and Death Note, that people would stop throwing money at hacks but clearly somebody at Marvel enjoys having subpar quality when it comes to their TV shows. No agenda at play here, nope. Russian superhero in Black Widow? Yea, let’s tarnish that so Russian kids don’t have anyone to look up to. But Egyptian superhero? Yea, we’ll make her badass, brave and able to take care of her own shit. Please ignore that we tried to copy WW1984.

Episode Five

Oh hey, I was right. Grade 4 storytelling continues. Oscar Isaac keeps giving one of his best performances. Ethan Hawke is underutilized. Clear example of “we paying for your name on our posters”.

Yea, the ending was satisfying. I have stated several times, I do not like the rendition that they went with for the character of Steven Grant. It feels like they either were too cowardly to make comic book Steven, or too scared of it being too similar to Batman and other rich heroes. Either way, this version of Steven is horrendous.

The episode only showed the creation of Steven, and with how much there is left to resolve, it appears that this show will follow the standard of Marvel. That is, to make a CGI fest for an ending because they didn’t have the heart or courage to tell a complete story. And so the final episode will most likely be a rushed hodge-podge. Wandavision also suffered the same fate. 4-5 episodes of somewhat unique and above average storytelling that unraveled in the final episode because… Who knows?

Episode Four

My favorite moment was at 11:56 because their rendition of Steven Grant is still terrible. Most enjoyable scene so far, followed closely by the next bit as he falls down into the hole. The horror reminded me of my grade 4-6 short stories where I read up on ancient Egyptians, and thought how best to gross out my classmates. Mummification, and taking out the organs into urns worked best. They were always grossed out.

Oscar Isaac is doing his best, and so is May Calamawy as Egyptian Tomb Raider. Even got neglected by a father who is a renowned archeologist that happened to disappear/get murdered under mysterious circumstances. She’s badass, and can take care of herself. Never fear when mummies get her, she’ll Brendan Fraser them on her own.

And that ending is a nice bit to the whole being judged by your memories for the afterlife. Except there’s multiple versions of you because of DID. I expect he’ll reach that hall of the Gods again and do what needs to be done. Only two episodes left to find out.

Episode Three

Yup, the more I watch, the more episode one feels like a huge waste of time and character development. Should have cut all the Steven Grant stuff out, that character is a terrible adaptation from the comics. I actually would have preferred the insane millionaire over broke whiny Steven that disjoints the action. Anyways, this third episode featured the late Gaspard Ulliel who was unfortunately under-utilized here.

There was a very cool scene towards with the manipulation of the night sky but such an event would have global consequences, and would surely reach the eyes and ears of every other superhero. I fully expect them to show up next episode otherwise we gotta confirm that the writer, is once again, an idiot that doesn’t think about such things. Painfully going in on that Tropic Thunder quote.

Fight scenes were plain laughable after watching Russian Raid. This is tier B movie fighting, not a Marvel production.

Episode Two

Pretty much disliked it until the last 13 minutes when Steven finally got rid of, and the character that I actually care about, Marc Spector, finally came to play. I learned online that the one scene that I absolutely hated in the first episode was actually the fault of the director. Goes to show that the executives do know their stuff. If that scene was cut, the whole mood would change. I wouldn’t see him as an inept mongoloid but rather a man facing a crisis of the mind. Where’s Kevin Feige when you need him.

What was up with that Mandarin spoken by Ethan Hawke? Was the point that he only pretends to care about learning languages because that was some next level butchering… well according to online forums, that is. When the suit came out, a small sliver of what could be shone bright. Maybe the last two episodes will be good.

Episode One

To quote a favorite comedy, Tropic Thunder, “Everyone knows you never go full retard.” Clearly Oscar Isaac, lead role of the show, and Jeremy Slater, writer and creator, never got that message. Seeing Oscar Isaac stumbling about, mumbling his words gives the opposite effect than they intended: his performance infuriates rather than giving the air of a man troubled in his mind by supposed delusions, and hallucinations. His accent is downright atrocious and laughable – stop saying random British sayings, yes, please say ‘innit’ some more. It’s not his fault though, he can only work with what he’s given. Too bad all Jeremy Slater can ever give is shiny golden turds (Fantastic Four, Death Note, The Umbrella Academy). Newsflash, if I was waking up from blackouts, the FIRST thing I’d do is check my phone for the time and date. The fact the character didn’t do that once until after a blunder on his part, was insulting to the audience.

40 minutes of my life wasted on useless filler. Only the opening two minutes establishing the villain and the final two minutes establishing our actual hero were worthwhile. Everything else was an exercise in terrible writing, piss-poor decisions and a character creating every single problem that befalls him. Moon Knight would be better portrayed in a movie.

Maybe the next five episodes can improve, but it seems to be following the Marvel TV formula of incredibly mediocre writing masked by shiny production values and effects. Time will tell.

TV Shows

Hawkeye

Not A Walking Tree

After the success of both WandaVision, and Loki, comes yet another Disney+ show about one of the lesser screen time heroes. This time we get a look at Clint Barton, and how he’s dealing with being an avenger, his family, and a newcomer that falls into his lap because of her own shenanigans. Kate Bishop is that person, a young girl that witnessed Hawkeye in the battle of New York which forever shaped her opinion on what it means to be a hero. Together, they team up and put an end to the nefariousness of the tracksuit gang, and that of a mysterious villain who controls the undercity.

It was enjoyable seeing battles take place in the street, at a very personal level, instead of being a ‘save the world’ type deal. Everything tried to be grounded, as best as one can being a hero that shoots a bow with trick arrows, but a few things slip by that ruin the immersion. For me, it’s the way they shoot their arrows, it’s painfully obvious they’re not actually drawing real arrows or pulling the bow string back, just using CGI instead. And then the finale, several instances of Deus Ex Machina (Mother using car to ram bad guy – first, when did we hear the ignition? And secondly, she’d have to drive down the street, pull a U-turn, and then come back and line herself up). Nobody bothers to seriously injure Kate Bishop yet she’s going way harder on them, injuring bad guys. Finale should have ended with Spoiler Big Bad knocking her out to kingdom come.

We did get a nice spiritual ending/send off for Black Widow that was better, and actually tastefully done, than her own solo movie. Guess you shouldn’t piss off the mouse by asking for equal money payments. Watching Florence Pugh again, after seeing her in the trash she was in, still not sure about her acting, though it is a marked improvement over previous efforts. Jeremy Renner is the same old, he’s always just been a meh actor to me. Hailee Steinfeld is always a pleasure to watch since her Oscar nomination for True Grit, she totally outshined everyone. I could just watch her character doing her own thing, with her own show. She’s a joy to behold on screen.

Overall, it was much better, in my opinion, than the previous two tv show outings by Marvel. It had heart, and character, but out of the 6 episodes, only the finale really mattered. The rest was filler, and I guess this is a problem with Marvel’s shows. They are designed to not matter because not every fan will watch it all, some will just watch the movies, and so the plot of the shows doesn’t really matter. If Billy Bob is just going to watch the movies, then the movie will have all of the relevant information, and retain nothing from the shows. Case in point was in Spiderman: No Way Home, as nothing of Loki was mentioned, just that the multiverse shouldn’t be doing that. I digress. Hawkeye’s a fun Christmas show. You might enjoy it.

Movies

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

Not A Walking Tree

To preface my criticisms of the movie, I thoroughly enjoyed the big action set pieces and the fight/stunt choreography is well deserving of an Oscar or some other big name award. The martial art sequences are clear and easy to follow, and it just gives you a sense of “wow!” The acting itself is well done, and especially Tony Chiu-Wai Leung as Xu Wenwu. His eyes had more emotion conveyed than most of the rest of the cast. Awkwafina also deserves a shoutout for finally being in a movie and not being totally annoying. And our main star, Simu Liu, bridging that gap between martial arts and acting, reminds me of Donnie Yen, I look forward to seeing more of him in the coming years.

Here’s my faults with it. Story is incredibly simple and follows the marvel formula to a T. Kevin Feige clearly has these screenwriters follow a guideline/stylebook. There’s like no deviation from the path. Must have a bad guy which isn’t the main bad guy, who is being manipulated by the real baddie. Must have the solo movie of a hero end in a giant CGI fest of a fight. Need a quirky yet comedic best friend to be the character lens for the audience to slowly understand what’s going on. There’s probably a few more, but that’s off the top of my head based on recent movies (Thor, Black Panther, Spiderman, Doctor Strange) – to name a few. Imagine an original storyline without the need to have these checkmark plot points for a marvel movie. That would be the future.

Those minor grievances aside in regards to plot, this is one hell of a September movie and deserves all the praise coming its way. I wish nothing but the best of luck to all responsible in the creation of this majestic martial arts comic book movie. If there’s one movie you want to watch in theaters, that would benefit immensely from a large screen and booming sound, it’s this one. I recommend it!

TV Shows

WandaVision

Not A Walking Tree

I had high hopes when the show initially started due to the meta usage of layering a show within a show. And then the slow reveal that everything was a reality created by Wanda was unique. I enjoyed the performance by Randall Park as Jimmy Woo, it brought in comedy to what was otherwise a grim affair. Elizabeth Olsen did an excellent job portraying a woman consumed by grief and the PTSD that comes from watching your loved one die (twice in her case). I was indifferent to Paul Bettany as Vision. There’s not much that character can bring emotionally to the table. He’s more a tool to advance Wanda’s character.

The rest of the supporting cast characters such as Captain Rambo, Darcy, Hayward, and her twins all did pretty decent. Nothing outstanding, just played their roles. Agatha was campy fun and a nice foil to Wanda, but ultimately served little purpose other than to accentuate Wanda as the Scarlet Witch. The citizens of Westview had little effect on the plot, I thought they would have more than what was shown. That they would have a greater impact on Wanda’s character but they simply served to reminder her that her actions have consequences.

Spoilers From Here On

Ultimately, I was filled with disappointment. They failed to deliver what I had hoped to have been shown. I was expecting to see a Scarlet Witch devastated by loss and brought to madness but it’s Disney, they never have the courage to show such loss. Gotta keep it kid friendly – yet their cartoons have no problems killing off the mom characters. I was expecting Wanda’s twins to die, and Vision to die, and then consumed by grief and vengeance, she becomes the Scarlet Witch and a tragic villain. Instead, we got a Wanda that accepted her loss (for the moment) and reverted everything to normal except the townsfolk hate her guts, oh and she stole the magical evil spellbook. Any devoted fans recognize it from Agents of Shield? Yup, the book that made Ghost Rider and the same book he took to Hell, somehow showed up in Agatha’s hands. I’m slightly angered by that. Shows they don’t care at all for Agents of Shield and that they’re clearly retconning it. And watch, all sorts of various sites are gonna be talking about how the darkhold can bring all sorts of magical things to the MCU… Newsflash people! It’s already happened!

Other disappointments include the Vision vs Vision fight. Two entities capable of phasing through matter fighting into a stalemate and then having a philosophical match. Yawn. Captain Rambo gets powers and she uses it to stop bullets. Another yawn.

Honestly, this entire show was just a marketing ploy for Doctor Strange 2. You could have cut it down to four hour long episodes and you’d have achieved the same result. The only gains were a new superhero, Vision back from the dead, and Wanda as Scarlet Witch. And all of that was simply teased, never allowed to go to full fruition. It’s clear the movies are their main goal to forward the MCU, and the TV shows are but appetizers to slightly sate your hunger while they prepare the main course.

Overall, I actually don’t recommend watching this. It’s a time sink with little to no payout. You’ll have learned nothing going into Doctor Strange 2 that would influence the plot. If you knew comics at all, you already know Wanda is the Scarlet Witch. If you do insist on viewing it, you can skip every episode and watch the finale and you would have learned as much as those that watched it in its entirety. This was a special effects extravaganza and light on storytelling. Then again, it’s Disney. What did one expect?