Good Boys

I honestly haven’t seen a more stupid coming of age tale than this movie. Written and directed by Gene Stupnitsky, it is a story about 3 boys entering the sixth grade. Filled with an overabundance of profane language, and implausible action, it is a story that makes you wish you never started watching it. The boys are Max, the ringleader of the group and a completely inept moron who doesn’t understand how to talk to people or act around anyone that’s not his friends; Thor, a chubby wannabe and aspiring singer; and Lucas, a black kid and a tattletale and a coward.

The best scene in the movie is when Thor gets punched, rightfully so, in the face by a college student. For the uninitiated, these three boys went into a frat house and tried to buy molly (ecstasy). When that failed, Max pulled out a paintball gun and began to shoot (assault) everyone inside the house. He then got Lucas to steal the molly while the drug dealer is on the ground in pain. Thor took a punch to the face while this all unfolded and somehow didn’t get knocked out. Why did the plot go this way? Because our intrepid heroes spied illegally with a drone on their neighbors and then crashed said drone into the neighbor’s yard. When the neighbor confiscated the drone, the boys thought it smart to steal the neighbor’s purse which contained molly (which they had to now replace).

In the end, they didn’t learn a single iota of respecting other people’s property or taking responsibility. What they learned was to lie, cheat and cover for one another. Learning that you can have other friends in addition to your best friends is such a lazy message that completely negates their adventure leading to this ending. The only one to not lie was the tattletale. Lucas gave up everything every time a person of any remote authority presented themselves. Honestly if I, at that age, had a friend like Lucas, I’d tell him to stop doing that and if he does it again, I’d stop being friends with him. He doesn’t deserve friends at all. The kid that everyone knows at school but nobody actually likes because he’ll go running to a teacher and run his mouth off. I mentioned he was a coward and he is, because any loud sound makes him scream like a little girl. It was kinda funny the first time, but after the fifth time, somebody should’ve given him a reason to actually scream.

How this movie should have gone is after decking Thor in the face, they went on and decked all three of them. Then called the police on them for trespassing and assault with a weapon. Then the next scene is them in juvie and then the movie ends. But Greg Stupnitsky lives in a fantasy land and thinks little boys behave in this manner. I don’t know what kind of childhood he had, but no child acts this way. This is some twisted fantasy that never should have made it this far, let alone into a movie.

I definitely don’t recommend this movie unless you enjoy getting pissed off watching three hooligans.