The Batman

Everyone reading my site knew this was coming, based off my opinion of Batman. After watching the movie, I conclusively feel he’s an outdated superhero that has no bearing on today’s modern world. The ideals upheld in Batman are of a bygone era, of the poor sucking the teat of the rich and gladly accepting this arrangement as fact of life. We praise this downtrodden billionaire masquerading about as a vigilante with rage issues, and we want to see his journey transform from the above to one that helps the less fortunate. Yet they will never portray that part of Batman on the movie screen, because that means the end of him, his arc would be complete. You would no longer be begging DC executives to make more movies, to fatten their pockets while poisoning your mind.

There will be spoilers of The Batman in this review. I thought long about making a review without them, but the story is so flawed in certain spots that it needs to be brought out into the light. Given that, there are plenty of aspects that I’ll give praise where praise is due. As far as movies go, this was a pretty good one and I can’t wait for the next inevitable reboot because originality and executives are like oil and water.

The Good

Robert Pattinson was an excellent, dare I say, perfect casting choice for Batman. He had physical presence in every scene, although I could hardly understand what he was saying in his whispered tone – I wish Batman could enunciate his words clearly. I liked that he was more akin to European action stars rather than American action stars with their jacked muscles looking like bodybuilders. Where would he have the time to maintain that physique? He wouldn’t, and so I enjoyed seeing Pattinson’s coiled fury more than usual portrayals of the character.

Colin Farrell as the Penguin was a joy to watch having seen his hot ones interview. Knowing how free he felt with the prosthetic mask on, he almost disappeared entirely into the character. There were a couple times I swear his Irish accent came through, and they were during emotional outbursts from his character. Other than that, I look forward to seeing him on his own show.

The sound design, and the props, along with the car… The best part of the movie, and it was worth sitting around nearly 3 hours in the dark to hear that engine roar in glorious harmony on magnificent speakers. I could watch a 3 hour version of Batman’s own mad max style chase with that car, and enjoy it all on account of hearing that raw power as it tears down the streets. Same with the motorcycles, the guns, and Batman’s gadgets. The sound team was on point and should win some awards for their efforts.

The Bad

Zoe Kravitz as Catwoman. She, herself, wasn’t bad. She was excellent eye candy, and it’s great to see latex outfits getting more public approval by being in a mainstream movie. Her character added little to the story, you could remove her existence and the plot could move along just fine, would probably shorten it to a better runtime too. The casting choice reeks of politics and being a diversification pick because they were too scared to cast a black actress in the role. Mixed actresses and black actresses are not interchangeable and they both have their own battles to fight, and this wasn’t a win for anyone. Either keep Catwoman traditionally white/Italian or make her black. Pick a battle and stick with it.

Robert Pattinson as Bruce Wayne was absolutely terrible, and yes the plot called for it, and yes, I understand the dichotomy displayed in this version, still doesn’t change the fact that he’s a socially awkward emo. The raccoon eyes and constant hair over the face were bad choices. I understand that the Director was going for a Kurt Cobain, rock star type of recluse but that didn’t come across well.

The action sequences suffered immensely past that first initial fight in the subway which is a shame because Pattinson could do much more if he were given better material. It never felt like he won fights because he’s a superior fighter, but rather that his opponents already had mental deficiencies to begin with because everyone fires their guns from the hip and nobody considers to aim at his leather BDSM mask.

Closing Thoughts

To me it feels like Director/Writer Matt Reeves was too preoccupied with making a story about the world’s greatest detective that he forgot Batman is also a superior fighter. He was far too focused on that detective noir/thriller aspect, that everything suffered as a result. The Riddler’s riddles were solved in under 30 seconds by both Batman and the audience, and so laughably simple. Batman never once actually stopped anything, being no different than a police officer investigating a crime after the fact. He’d only ever react after something happens. Batman would let a mass murderer that he witness firsthand commit atrocities go free for some laughs while he drives off after the real bad guy. Penguin killed at least 15 people on that highway but it’s okay because he gets tied up and has to waddle humiliatingly like an actual penguin. Matt Reeves understands how to get justice in the world.

And here comes my favorite part, from my own thoughts on the character of Batman, linked at the start:

They need to attack the system at the top. The governments run by the corporations, those at the very top need to feel Batman’s fists and wrath. Then he can supplant his own puppets, his own workforce, use his wealth to ensure that those corrupt are taken out and replaced with better men. And even then, power corrupts – absolutely. And then they need another reminder, and Batman steps in again.


You’re telling me that nearly two years ago I guessed the entire central plot of the movie except I forgot to pervert and corrupt my idea by having the character of Falcone be the one to do all this. The more I re-read my old words, the more I see how this movie solidifies the notion that the character of Batman needs to be put to rest. You would think that when Bruce learns his father’s charity is being used for heinous purposes and to put the wool over the eyes of its citizens, that maybe he would do something. Maybe the movie would have a news report saying that Bruce will install an oversight committee looking into said charity. You know, use his wealth and resources to actually help people? No, this movie’s about Batman so we’ll have him jump onto an electrical cable which is attached to a transformer threatening the people below, have him shock himself from cutting the cable and then fall into the water. He’ll light a red flare and lead people out of the flooded building into the rest of the flooded city. Then we’ll have a scene of him carrying a young injured girl atop a roof with the national guard helping akin to a PR puff piece of a leader doing anything military.


Overall, the movie had lows and highs, and for me, the chase scene with his batmobile was worth the price of admission at a theater. The runtime had me counting down the seconds until I could take a bathroom break as generally you don’t wanna miss parts of a movie. There was a lot I didn’t discuss like Paul Dano as the Riddler or Jeffrey Wright as Gordon, both were fantastic. The fault in the movie ultimately lies with the DC executives too terrified to make an original movie based on a character that’s not Batman. The thought of not having another luxury yacht is too much for them to bear.

TV Shows


There’s a scene early on where our titular character sits down at a bar, next to his attractive co-worker, and she tells him off for being a racist, murderous, piece of shit. He looks taken aback, and reflects on it.

Given my opinion on The Suicide Squad, I just know that Gunn wrote this scene and parts of Peacemaker’s overall story as a means of calling out his haters. It sets the tone for the whole adventure. To me, it says, “I know some of you hate this character, but let me show you why I don’t.” And I have to give credit where credit is due. Peacemaker is a good TV show albeit not without minor nitpicking – not everyone’s acting was stellar, more on that later. I promised my friends I’d do my best, and separate the artist from the art. Like the greats, Roman Polanski, and others. I’d watch, setting my bias aside.

First and foremost, I thoroughly enjoyed John Cena as Christopher ‘Chris’ Smith aka Peacemaker. I watched a bloopers compilation of the show, and at one point Cena replies back to a joke about great actors that he shouldn’t be included. The man sure is humble as his comedy is on point in every scene. In fact, without him, the show wouldn’t nearly have same effect however strong the writing is. He carried the leading role well, and I want to see him in more leading roles rather than supporting. Chukwudi Iwuji was quite good. I haven’t had the pleasure of seeing him beforehand. I enjoyed his performance and look forward to seeing more of him.

Now my nitpicking. Jennifer Holland, who keeps hiring her? Still as wooden as the day I saw her all those years ago in Zombie Strippers. She’d pull me out of immersion each time I saw her. And then we have the token character of the somewhat sassy, fat, black woman played by Danielle Brooks (wonderful performance). To Gunn’s credit, despite having to use that trope, it was delightfully done and self aware. I found myself wondering where was this tasteful and smart dialogue, and interaction in the previous movie. And it wasn’t just her, many characters would do something frustrating or idiotic, and the audience would get that feeling of annoyance and then immediately be appeased by dialogue that calls it out right away. It was a rollercoaster of being knowingly played with, that I didn’t want to get off of.

Before I continue, the character of Vigilante was interesting. It is a peculiar choice to make a psychopath the comic relief. It really makes a statement all on its own. This world is so messed up, that the funniest guy is the one that’s most insane. If this was Batman, such a character is the most terrifying. That contrast is called out by Gunn, in a lovely scene between Peacemaker and his elderly neighbor on that age old argument whether Batman should kill. Self awareness of the property source seems to be occurring more and more, and that studios are allowing it, it’s setting up for an interesting time in entertainment.

I’m aware of the similarity between how Vigilante was written and to Ryan Reynolds’s Deadpool. That was obviously intentional. It doesn’t detract from the character or Freddie Stroma’s performance, but a fun little call-out. In fact, I found myself thinking he stole whatever scene he was in. I found him delightfully infectious.

I want to say it was fun to watch Robert Patrick as a villain, but he’s made a career of that. This was no different. His character served only to further Peacemaker’s development, and it was obvious from the first appearance.

Overall, it is an excellent companion piece to accompany The Suicide Squad, and stands strongly on its own. John Cena is quite the comedic force to be reckoned with. James Gunn created a masterpiece for DC’s halls. I recommend this dark adventure, but I still think the character is a murderous, piece of shit.


The Suicide Squad

This review contains minor spoilers

After having seen it, I can see why it might be so highly rated. There is a lot of good lore, and world-building. But, I’m just super divided on it. I think it would have been much more enjoyable if there wasn’t so much self-gratification of American propaganda. If they didn’t keep fluffing themselves to be the savior. The story takes place on the fictional island of Corto Maltese aka basically Cuba. It honestly didn’t even bother to disguise that fact. And now a group of Americans are going to save this poor third-world country from a tyrannical president and military coup (which in all likelihood was implemented by a similar American agency that sent out the Suicide Squad.) However, we don’t want that to be too obvious so we’ll include a third-act bad guy to switch our antagonist to. See, James Gunn can write twists.

Awhile back there were some tweets regarding James Gunn, and having seen much of what he calls humor in this film, I now understand why there was a bad light cast on him. That kind of humor doesn’t change, that kind of fetish for underage jokes. And wow, the sheer amount of children jokes or children being threatened to be killed is high. Like the first was admittedly funny, but then it just kept going. Beating a dead horse. Like Tarantino gets off on feet, James Gunn has a disturbing and morbid humor involving underage minors. Oh, I’m sure the message of ‘killing kids is a big red flag’ is understandable, but why even the need to bring it up? (Probably to make the audience understand that Amanda Waller is a worse villain than the team she creates).

The interactions between all the characters was great, it was humorous. Witty, intelligent. There was a finesse to some of the action scenes. The gore and violence was creative and felt like scenes out of comic book pages, and then other scenes were far too gratuitous. Some scenes added absolutely nothing except made me think this is some sort of satanic ritual to be filmed. Spoiler. Bad dudes burn down a giant bird cage and you get to listen to the birds’ screams. This scene infuriated me. NOTHING was gained as a viewer. I didn’t think that the general was worse than he already was. It didn’t symbolize anything, not even the president’s ideals being burned away. It was pure evil for no reason at all. Sorry, pardon my French, but how fucked are you in the head to think up that scene?

Was the movie weird? Yes. And it often felt forced. Like it was being weird just for the sake of being weird. I bought into the hype reading actor’s interviews and tsk. I’m disappointed. Some of the scenes are incredibly stupid, like Harley’s escape. Yes, guys with assault rifles will all single file and one at a time approach and not at all think to shoot their guns. Idris Elba was strong as Bloodsport. His character similar to Will Smith’s in the first movie. Daniela Melchior as Ratcatcher2 was also quite strong in her role, brought what limited emotional impact she could. John Cena as Peacemaker was a walking metaphor for the USA. He was a caricature, two dimensional or even one. There was no depth to his character. The fact they’re making a show with his character is a joke.

Overall, half of me hates it. It’s a sick, twisted adventure from a disturbed mind. Sure, you can always try to find beauty in madness, but I’m going to stay away from this. I’m not gonna judge you for watching this movie, or if you immensely enjoyed it. And the other half of me liked some parts. I liked the jokes and self-awareness between characters. Actually, that’s all I liked. Anyways, my review won’t stop you from watching it if you’re already keen on doing so. You’ll probably dismiss it as rambling. I’m sick of these metaphors, messaging – subliminal or otherwise. Nothing I want more than to shut my brain off and enjoy but I can’t help but see the social programming plugging away.